Sunday Self-Refection
Who am I?
Recently I’ve been kinda thinking about how some of you might not know who I am.
I mean you know that I’m an online fitness and nutrition coach how specializes in help busy hard working women over the age of 30 lose weight and be able to keep it off for good.
But you might not know how I got here or why I do what I do.
So I wanted to take today to give you some insight into me and why I decent to start helping people the way I do…
I started wanting to get in shape back in high school for football.
Like most teenagers who played sports, I just wanted to be better, stronger, and leaner.
I thought if I pushed harder than everyone else, I’d have the edge.
And at first, it worked.
I got leaner.
I got faster. I was stronger than most of my friends.
And people noticed.
Coaches praised me.
Friends would say they wished they had my discipline.
And honestly I was getting way more attention then I had ever gotten before so it felt kinda good.
But behind the scenes, I wasn’t discipline — I was obsessed.
I was terrified of gaining weight, so I restricted everything.
Meals weren’t about enjoyment anymore — they were about control.
If something wasn’t “clean” enough, I wouldn’t touch it.
I’d spend hours training, even when I was sore, sick, or exhausted, because the thought of missing a workout made me panic.
If I ate too much, I’d punish myself by running extra or lifting longer.
And the scary part?
On the outside, it looked like I was doing everything right.
People thought I was the picture of health.
But on the inside, I was falling apart.
This went on for years and each year I would get worse and worse.
And ounce I had gotten out of high school that when I took (what I now know was an eating disorder) to the next level.
I avoided eating out with friends entirely because I couldn’t control the food.
I skipped family gatherings because I was scared of what might be served.
I lost all of the joy that food and movement were supposed to bring.
And the truth is I wasn’t chasing health anymore — I was running from fear.
Fear of getting “soft.”
Fear of losing control.
Fear of not being enough.
And even though I looked lean, inside I was exhausted, anxious, and miserable.
Now it’s hard imaging that things couldn’t have gotten any worse then this but they did..
After about a year of this I was out riding my dirt bike at the track one weekend and suffered a pretty severe shoulder injury and that meant I could exercise for about 6 weeks.
This is where I spiraled into a full brown eating disorder.
For 6 weeks I only eat 1 bowl of spring salad mix, 2oz of chicken, a handful of sliced almonds, and zero calorie salad dressing every day. NOTHING ELSE.
I would now classify this as some form on anorexia because they only reason I did this was because I was so scared to get fat.
I was so scared of what people would think if my if i wasn’t the in shape person they ounce new me as.
So I would have rather been skinny and emaciated then fat.
So over the course of 6 weeks I went form 180 lbs to 140 lbs.
Thats losing roughly 6.6 lbs per week.
And i know some people might see 140 lbs and say thats not terrible and that are way worse cases out there.
But for me being 5’ 10” tall and a male 140 lbs was not a good look.
You could tell there was something wrong with me, not to mention the entire mindset I had around this time.
Ounce my 6 weeks of no exercise was up and I could start exercising again, initially I wanted to get back in there and jump right back in where I left off.
And If I’m being honest thats exactly what I did.
I spent the next 6 months going as hard as a possible could to get some level of muscle back all while just going deeper and deeper into my eating disorder.
Now for me the turning point wasn’t one single dramatic moment—it was more like a slow unraveling.
The exhaustion kept building.
I’d wake up tired, even after sleeping.
I’d skip almost every social events, but then feel guilty and isolated.
I was constantly hungry but constantly restricting.
And I remember one day standing in front of the mirror at the gym, leaner than I had ever been, and thinking:
Why don’t I feel happy? Why does this still not feel like enough?
That question shook me.
Because for years I thought if I just worked harder—ate cleaner, trained more, pushed through—then I’d finally feel something.
But I didn’t. I just felt trapped.
And that’s when it clicked.
Being lean wasn’t the same as being healthy.
Discipline wasn’t the same as freedom.
I realized what I needed was a better relationship with food, movement, and myself.
Something I could sustain—not just for a season, but for life.
This wasn’t an overnight fix.
I had to unlearn years of restriction and control.
I had to give myself permission to eat without guilt.
I had to learn that rest days weren’t failure, they were part of the process.
This shift didn’t just change my body—it changed my life.
For the first time, I felt like I was building habits that worked with me instead of against me.
And it was in that moment of clarity that I knew:
I didn’t want anyone else to go through what I had gone through.
Once I realized the problem wasn’t my body — it was my approach — I started to rebuild from the ground up.
I stopped chasing the next quick fix.
I stopped treating food like the enemy.
And I stopped punishing myself with exercise.
Instead, I focused on the basics.
Eating balanced meals without labeling foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’
Moving in ways that made me feel stronger, not smaller.
Giving myself permission to rest.
At first, it felt uncomfortable.
After years of strict rules, freedom felt wrong.
I questioned whether I was doing enough.
But slowly, I started to see that this new way was actually working.
I had more energy.
I felt less anxious.
I could enjoy a meal out with friends without obsessing over every calorie.
And the crazy thing?
My body started to respond better than it ever had before.
That’s when it hit me:
if I could go from burned out, fearful, and trapped in an endless cycle of dieting…to living in a way that was simple, sustainable, and freeing…then I could help other people do the same.
So I became a trainer.
Then a nutrition coach.
And I built a coaching program that is now designed for the women who were where I once was — tired of diets, tired of starting over, tired of feeling like the only answer was to do more and more until they burned out.
Helping women find freedom with food and confidence in their bodies has become my mission.
Because I know firsthand how damaging the alternative can be.
I know I’m not the only one who’s felt stuck in that cycle.
Because maybe you’ve lived it too.
You’ve tried diets that promised quick results—but they left you tired, hungry, and frustrated.
You’ve started workout routines with the best intentions, only to feel guilty when life got busy and you couldn’t keep up.
You’ve told yourself that maybe this is just how it is after 40…slower metabolism, more weight gain, less energy.
I get it. I thought the same things.
But here’s the truth: your metabolism isn’t broken and YOU’RE NOT BROKEN.
What’s broken are the methods you’ve been told to follow—the restrictive rules, the “all or nothing” plans, the pressure to do more when you’re already running on fumes.
And that’s exactly why I do this work.
Because I know how heavy that cycle feels.
And I know how freeing it is to finally step out of it.
You don’t have to keep choosing between being ‘healthy’ and actually living your life.
You can have both.
You can feel confident in your body, enjoy food again, and have energy left over for the people and things you love.
So here’s my question for you this Sunday…
When you step back and really look at your health, your routines, and the way you feel day to day—are they giving you the life you want?
Or are they draining you, keeping you stuck in the same cycle I once lived in?
Take a moment to sit with that.
Not with guilt.
Not with shame.
Just honesty.
Because change starts with reflection.
And if your reflection today feels heavy, I want you to know something—there is a better way.
You don’t need to keep dieting, starting over, or putting yourself last.
You can build habits that feel simple, sustainable, and freeing.
And you don’t have to figure it out alone.
That’s why I coach women just like you—to help you break out of the cycle, feel confident in your body again, and finally enjoy life without the constant pressure of restriction.
If you’re ready for that kind of change, let’s talk.
I’d love to show you what’s possible.
Just reply to email or click the button below to shoot me a msg.
Much love,
Coach Anthony
